January 2020 on

19. Mar, 2020

We are in lockdown here in the UK. As David and I belong to the group of vulnerable over seventies all we can do is sit tight. I’m not going to write about the virus as every post on my Facebook feed this morning does this and further whips up the frenzied anxiety out there in the world. I don’t know why people do this and what their reasons are but they are of no help to the elderly and the vulnerable who need to keep calm.

Instead I will write about the wonderful people in our communities willing to help and to be on call when needed. About the shop keepers putting themselves at risk daily to bring food to our tables. The nursing and medical staff caring for those hospitalised, the drivers on public transport and all the wonderful people sticking to their jobs in spite of the pandemonium. These are our heroes.

Good will come out of this as good finally triumphs in everything. You can see for yourselves the rapid changes that are happening in community spirit and the need to stop thinking merely of ourselves, to stop panic buying, to stop travelling the world just for self satisfaction and so forth. We all belong to the human race and we all suffer it’s shortcomings in one way or another. Now it’s time for change.

All we have learnt in dealing with benzo withdrawal is going to help us tolerate the storm that faces mankind at present. In fact we could actually be stronger than our neighbours who have never known adversity and never had to endure suffering. Please don’t let the panic and world news cause you increased anxiety. Practice all the techniques you can to keep yourself calm, EFT, Breathing, Meditation, Mindfulness and Affirmations..... There will be something for you to hold on to. Others will be here for you to give love and support as you continue your recovery from Benzos in a difficult world situation. We are strong and we are survivors.

 

 

 

 

4. Mar, 2020

 

Something a little different today.
In order to help myself through the worst of my withdrawal experience I became familiar with something known as the Three Principles way of understanding life. This is based on the insights a Scottish guy named Sydney Banks first realised in 1973. He wrote several books expounding his theories. He was an ordinary working man but his insights gave rise to an understanding of the principles that govern all human experience i.e. Universal Mind, Universal Consciousness and Universal Thought. His observations created a whole new field of psychology.

I’m telling you this because these absolute truths can be applied to our withdrawal experience. This understanding holds the potential to create positive change within ourselves. You don’t have to do anything just follow those that teach us how the power of our thinking governs our reality and that reality is totally different for every one of us. We are not controlled by what happens to us in our outside world but by our thinking about this within ourselves. Life should be lived from the inside out and not the outside in. There are many books and videos about all this, many practitioners helping people to overcome their anxiety and many have recovered their lives through this understanding. I have a therapist who is helping me and it works!

My thoughts are that the withdrawal experience could be relieved, even just a little by understanding how our thinking works and what lies underneath it all. We can’t relieve the suffering, the pain and sometimes the deep anguish but we can appreciate that our minds are able to create a better place for us while we recover over time.

Maybe this is a bit ‘deep’ but I’m working on it! There’s loads of books but I suggest watching the videos by Syd Banks, Michael Neill and Nicola Bird. Nicola lives in Surrey, UK and has made numerous podcasts on her website, all free and easy to understand. I do think there is something in all this that we can harness to help make our recovery easier for ourselves. So today watch your thoughts as they pass through your conscious mind and let them go because just recognising them will help bring you to a more peaceful place within. ❤️

 

 

 

 

 

25. Feb, 2020

 

Those that know me will know that I don’t believe in labelling us as warriors. I understand why it’s a term that is often used in benzo withdrawal but the noun ‘warrior’ has a dictionary meaning of a soldier or fighter albeit a brave one. I feel, and this is a personal observation, that we shouldn’t fight all this, we shouldn’t take up battle against our symptoms as this can worsen them. It causes us to focus on them, scream and shout at them and try to control them with any ammunition or tools we have at hand.

From my own experience there has been no doubt that trying to fight the unending symptoms that my body threw up over a long period of time only caused them to become worse and may even have slowed any recovery. Controlling them with anything has mostly set me back into an even greater hell. On the other hand accepting what is happening to me and allowing the symptoms to wax and wane in their own time and trying my best to divert away from them and let them be may have helped them pass faster. This is always with the proviso that medical confirmation shows nothing else is wrong of course. If you get the all clear then perhaps best to give up the fight, escape the groups, talk to friends and let your recovery unfold. It doesn’t have to be a battle.

Are you brave enough to let go of a fighting stance and accept what is for the time being? This will be far less stimulating for the Central Nervous System and allow healing to take place.

 



 

24. Feb, 2020

 

We’re having a new kitchen at long last. Today the old kitchen is being taken out. It’s dusty, noisy and disruptive but we’re coping. It’s going to take awhile before the new kitchen is installed so we have to put up with the mess and work around it. Eventually the walls will need replastering and painting and shiny, granite worktops installed. Quite a process.

Why am I telling you this? Benzo withdrawal and recovery are also a renovation process. The old has to be removed, sometimes ripped out in a painful process to allow space for the new to take over and become our normality. It may happen slowly, one part of the body and brain at a time, or it may overwhelm us all at once with a multitude of symptoms. Whatever happens space is being created for a fresh, new start. 

It is important to remember while this takes place not to slow the workmen down, let them do their job, don’t add to their confusion as they need to be able to get on as quickly as possible. Once completed my kitchen will be a much better and workable area just as the body and brain will be cleared of the debris left by perhaps years of benzos and become a wonderful, calm, clear, and beautiful space which allows us to experience life to the full again.

 

 

 

17. Jan, 2020


#Getting in the way of your own healing. 

#Step aside, let it happen.

#Don’t fight it.

 

I’m seeing this more and more as time goes by and I continue to be involved with the benzo world. Healing happens faster if you do nothing! I believe it’s possible to get in the way of your own healing and this isn’t just about slowing it down with further drugs and chemicals but also with trying to control it with many of the so called ‘healing practices’. Of course it can be supported with good food, diversion and hobbies you enjoy, exercise and the such like but perhaps better not to try and change anything? Leaving this open as a question.

 I’ve written before about seeking ways to control the anxiety by using such practices as EFT, CBT, neurofeedback, binaural beats, affirmations, and the various other anxiety techniques out there but it came to me, while lying in bed this morning, that all these are doing is trying to control what the body and brain want to release and could actually be another way that’s preventing full recovery happening faster than we would like. Very controversial I know especially as some people rely on these practices to get them through a bad patch. Knowing how I’ve recovered I believe that trying to control my symptoms with tapping, breathing and so forth actually may have added more stress e.g. ‘Am I dong this right?’ ‘What should I say next?’, and so forth. Even meditation is a way of possibly trying to control our thoughts and something we must do each day or it won’t ‘work’. Maybe too far fetched I don’t know but worth throwing out there as a possibility.

 If we stand aside, watch what’s happening from deep within ourselves and don’t try and control this by any means whatsoever either drug based, physical, or mind control intervention would we heal faster? I don’t know the answer but I do know that the body is a miraculous machine with systems that work hard every day to keep us conscious in this world. The body knows what it’s doing and what it needs to do to bring us to health. There are times when of course intervention may be needed but there are also times, as in benzo withdrawal, when it just needs to release trauma, sort out systems that have been controlled and impacted by a drug and regain normal status quo. Maybe It wants to be left in peace to do this.

Whatever the truth of all this we know that healing happens in your own time so let your own healing unfold as it will and remember it’s not a battle to be won, it’s a journey of discovery to be completed without adding road blocks along the way. The destination is worth it.