8. May, 2020

The New You

 

When going through the worst symptoms that benzo withdrawal can whip up for us the one, most urgent cry I hear over and over again is, 

‘I just want to be back to who I was’. 

Sufferers want their sleep to return, they feel toxic, they are in pain, they want to eat normally, they want to enjoy their family and friends...........the list goes on and is heart wrenching, perhaps even more so because not everybody in our real lives understands the suffering and can even add to it.

My answer is, ‘Please don’t try and get back to who you were!’ 

That person has gone, the person who needed a benzo to help them through life has gone. The person who carried a pill bottle around with them for a crutch has gone. The person who religiously dosed their daily benzo, even setting their watch to make sure they didn’t miss a dose has gone. The person who reached for their benzo to force them into an unnatural sleep has gone......For whatever reason you became dependent on Benzos you don’t want that person back.

In place of the benzo dependent shadow of yourself is going to emerge a stronger, wiser, happier, clearer thinking, more compassionate and healthier you. You may not know this new you for awhile if you’ve been drugged for decades like me but, with all you learn in your recovery, you are eventually going to appreciate life a lot more and have a much greater depth of understanding. 

So don’t look for the return of that ‘old you’ he or she took Benzos to live. Instead seek out the new you as you recover and become the person you were meant to be. Recovery is worth it. ❤️