Throughout this healing process I’ve needed to reach out for advice and comfort. Sometimes it’s been an urgent cry for help and the only way for me to find this has been to contact the Samaritans. We are so lucky in the UK to have this wonderful support service when we feel we just can’t go on any longer. I found talking to someone, even a faceless person on the other end of the phone, has been my saving grace when symptoms have become intense in the middle of the night. They are compassionate and they listen; they don’t judge you or the situation you’re in. I did just this last Thursday night and have sought their help again and again throughout my worst times in withdrawal.
After my last post I had a relatively calm day that suddenly morphed into the wave from hell. Everything went into overdrive and I found myself doing battle with the devil again. I thought it was caused by the steroid eardrops the consultant had prescribed following the ear cleaning procedure but who knows? It could just have been a delayed reaction to the event. It lasted about 24 hours then eased off. During that time I was once again using every support avenue available to just get the reassurance that this was a reaction and would pass. Of course it did. Talking to the Samaritans helped me to pace the night away knowing someone was there for me.
It’s so important to have people to reach out to in withdrawal that I just can’t emphasize this enough. If we have a partner they can be worn down by our constant self-centred and negative thoughts. If we say anything to friends they just drift away not wanting to believe that this has been caused by a simple prescription drug given up long ago. I have learnt to say nothing to those without understanding or compassion and rely on the wonderful internet friends that are going through this alongside me. I don’t know how I would have come this far without being able to scream and shout to someone who understands and can keep me calm. So a very big THANK YOU to all the friends I have made on this journey….you are true friends and I love you all.
The words of this song come to mind………..
Now if you feel that you can't go on (can't go on)
Because all of your hope is gone (all your hope is gone)
And your life is filled with much confusion (much confusion)
Until happiness is just an illusion (happiness is just an illusion)
And your world around is crumbling down, darlin
Reach out come on girl reach on out for me
Reach out reach out for me
I'll be there with a love that will shelter you
I'll be there with a love that will see you through
……….I'll be there to love and comfort you.
('Reach Out, I'll be There' by the Four Tops, 1966)