9. Sep, 2018

Healing Crisis

 

The process we have to go through to reach full recovery is extremely difficult for some of us and it's really hard to believe all the pain and anguish are actually necessary for our healing. I learnt that fighting the symptoms just made them worse but trusting in this process eventually led to the healing of that particular system or symptom. There seems to be a commonality in that things can get worse before they get better and therefore when a symptom is particularly ferocious this could be the last time that it makes an appearance.  Understanding this can happen has helped me through some of the worst times on my long and arduous recovery journey but it's all been worthwhile to come to a place of peace and freedom.

 

Over the last three weeks I've had an upsurge of pain throughout my body but worst in my left hip, back and fingers. At first I panicked thinking this must be arthritis or some other equally debilitating disease that was here for the rest of my life. Today it's very mild, almost gone and I feel well and happy. Once I let go of the anguish and trusted that this was just another uptick in the recovery process the pain diminished and I've no doubt will completely go. 

 

I read of so much suffering on the various Benzo support groups that it's hard not to be drawn into the abyss myself. Believing in our own healing has to be the way to go and just letting it happen as it must so we can eventually be free in a peaceful body. 

 

I Should add that the anxiety that has plagued me for so many years now, right from tolerance to the present day, seems to have finally made it's exit from my life. In my last post it was my worst symptom so another example of a symptom ramping up before it's final disappearance (I hope).