This page includes poems, texts and other inspirational messages written by survivors of withdrawal.
My grateful thanks to everyone for messages of hope to help us though this nightmare.
Please send me any poems, prose, photos, art work or inspirational messages to add here.
Benzo Warrior's Rap Song
Excuse me doctor...mister pill popper ..there's somethin wrong wit what ur doin here
My skins on fire ..my brains a mess...and I'm filled wit all dis fear
Now years ago
When i didn't even know
U put me on this pill
It felt so goid but I misunderstood
That this shit would make me il
I lay in bed filled with dread and my legs they barely move
My ass is fat and I've lost the nack to even watch the news
Now my peeps are sufferin everywhere and that is oh so sad
It's the benzo woes I speak of yo
And dammit they're really bad
You see my breath is funky
Food tastes junkiie
And man I think i stink
Cause I have no power to take a shower
and my hair's all in the sink
Somedays I swear I just don't care
but time is passin by
This shit is real ... ur life it steals
And only God knows why.
Some Thoughts on Life
You never fail until you’re satisfied with failure. – Failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up. Sometimes you have to fail a thousand times to succeed. Which means you haven’t really
failed yet; you’ve just found a bunch of ways that don’t work. So don’t get so hung up on a few failed attempts that you miss every new opportunity coming your way. All of your ideas that don’t work are simply stepping stones on your
way to the one idea that does. As Winston Churchill once said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
What you have learned is what’s important. – Life always offers you a second chance – it’s called tomorrow. But this second chance doesn’t mean anything if you haven’t learned from the events of today. You have to acknowledge your troubles but gather strength from them, and laugh at your mistakes but learn from them. Getting a second chance in life is about giving yourself the opportunity to grow beyond your past failures. It’s about learning as you go and positively adjusting your attitude and efforts toward future possibilities.
Tough times are just part of life’s natural balance. – Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. And life looks different through everyone’s eyes. In fact, who you were, who you are, and who you will become are three completely different people. And as you gradually grow beyond the person you were yesterday, keep life's challenges in perspective. Hear life’s harmony, and notice the delicate balance. Realize that life is like playing a grand piano. The white keys create your happiness and the black keys denote your troubles. But as you go through life’s journey, remember that the black keys also create music.
Pain helps you grow. – Sometimes things must change so you can change. Sometimes you must break a little so you can get a peek inside to see what an awesome powerhouse you are. Sometimes mistakes must be made so wisdom can be earned. Sometimes you must overcome heartache so you can begin to follow your heart again.
Success is a way of living. – Don’t let your struggles become your identity. Not everything in your life will go as you expect it to. This is why you need to drop expectations, live in the present, and go with the flow, rather than against it. Remind yourself that it’s perfectly okay not to be perfect. Ultimately, success is not something you achieve, it is what you learn and how you grow as you deal with the realities of life – it is a way of living and being.
In recovery we experience tremendous chemical induced anxiety and fear. The fear center of your brain is thought to be the amygdala. As gaba receptors, (gaba), are responsible for the calming of our emotions and nerves, it stands to reason that when
we are left without it's functioning properly, we'll have unrealistic fears and scary thoughts. And couple that with the fact that symptoms are so strange and bizarre, and most cannot be accounted for medically, it's no wonder it's rampant!
The fact is our central nervous system controls pretty much our entire sense of well being. As it heals it is unpredictable and can throw us around like debris in a tornado! It is also quite logical that it can in turn cause us to be traumatized by these events and unreal fears. This will all subside as the CNS heals. But I also know for myself challenging myself to face my fears head on gave me strength, and helped to speed up healing in this area I believe. By setting small goals for ourselves (exposure therapy if you will), empowers us to conquer our fears and anxiety over them. If you are afraid to get out of the house, or socialize, set a small goals for yourself to just go out for a small amount of time. Chances are it will not be as bad as you think. Either way it is the knowing you can do it that gives you strength and courage to keep on setting larger goals. Pretty soon you will find it's not such a problem anymore. Fear tends to feed upon itself, and most of the time things we are afraid of never come to fruition. 😊Blessings Dear Hearts!!
I Was In Your Shoes
I was in your shoes
I was once on benzos.
I was once sick on benzos
I didn't understand why I was getting sick
I was taken off benzos
I was taken off cold
I was on them 23 years
I was sicker than I could have ever dreamed possible
I soldiered on
I stopped dwelling in the past
I learned to accept the process
I was once in your shoes
I an stronger than ever before
I learned how to make myself believe I would get better
I then did get better
I didn't stop believing
I stood against the wind
I didn't fall over
I did bend but didn't break
I didn't give up
I wanted to give up
I won you will win
I wouldn't let this drug take more
I would never give up
I learned how to crawl
I learned how to stand
I learned to walk
I learned to help others
I learned how to beat anxiety
I learned to live again
I found the real me
I like her
I didn't like the benzo me
I didn't know her
I refuse to met her again
She was sick
I am stronger than her
I am a warrior
I am proud
I am humbled
I am human
I was in your shoes
I want you to know
I want you to see
I want you to live
I want you to be patient
I want you to know that you will be the one writing this to others one day
I was in your shoes
I care deeply for you
I will dance with you when you win too
A Benzo Rap
get back, click-clack, pow... im not afraid... we can walk this road together.. everybody... take a stand... until we are free forever... no more intoxicating... so sedating... mass frustrated.. no more pills to make you feel like you are somewhere else,,,, your not yourself... you dont remember... last September... how could you let them take your mind... your so sublime... no need to rhyme... when your feeling fine... how many times did i walk the line... before i saw... i was losing my mind....i was so far down at the end of the road... i had no where to turn... i went back to the doctor that said that he could help me... instead he just left me and told me i was the one that was doing it all wrong you see... in and and out of hospitals and detoxes and rehabs left me in hell i was all alone... in the end they took everything... even my sanity... my family... my job and career... and my own self respect ... how could i feel like a man when they did all that to me? And still i sit here trapped inside of my head try to get get free,,, my body still sick from the toxins and poisons they planted in me... In the end all that matters is that im not who i once was... but i am a finally free from all their lies and the insanity.... No more pills or words that i cant be who i want to be... So ill take it... and leave it all behind me... like a crazy dream or nightmare someone came to haunt me... i'll leave it behind and i am finally free....
The Ghost Train
Withdrawal reminds me of those terrifying rides on the ghost train as a child...... i.e the anticipatory fear, followed by extreme reality of fear, never knowing what lies around the next corner, all the terror associated bodily manifestations of fear ( jelly legs, nausea, shaking, dizzyness,etc...etc..... ). The good news is, we all eventually get off so to speak, and I also remember the relief and deep gratitude I felt as a child, when that ride came to an end, and I was able to feel my little feet firmly on the ground, breathe in the air and connect.
Till the Storm Passes By
We had a bad thunder storm this afternoon. Bentley (our dog ) has always been terribly afraid of thunder and rain. He just litterly trembles and shakes and drools .. tries to hide. wants to sit near me, and just looks like he is going to die ...it absolutely breaks my heart...when it's over he is exhausted and finally sleeps...I am told by friends that dogs can have seizures from this fear and some give their dogs tranquilizers to prevent it..we would if he had a seizure.. but he just toughs it out ..when this first started it was about 3 or 4 years ago and I was beginning my depression and In the midst of anxiety attacks (didn't know what they were then) one day in the thunder and rain I was laying on the couch and he was on the floor just trembling and shaking his body actually moves with it....I had my hand on him talking ,tryinng to comfort him " its okay , you:ll be alright ..you are safe . its not going to hurt you ...we are fine " because in my heart I knew there was absolutely no danger except in his mind. but there is no way he understands that and he can not control the fear ...that day in a still small voice inside me God said" Betty you are as safe as he is..you don't have a thing to fear, I am In control and you are safe ..I understand you cant control your fear but just believe you are safe and don't worry about it..I understand.. you cant help it any more than he can..just remember that you are safe."...since then thunderstorms always make me remember how really safe I am in my storm..today as I watched Bentley in anguish again I said ..you are okay I know you don't understand me but I am here ..that is what he wants and that is all I can do it is so good to have someone who is justthere ...A dear frind reminded me this week "you dont have to be strong for me ..just br there!." The storm, passed and he calmed down .. Just a dog...yes but I love him and he is like a child to me..today I thought what a storm I am in the middle of....Benzo withdrawal and it is tearing me apart...but I am just as safe as can be although I don't feel it and everything that is me is trembling and drooling and tearing me apart...God sees me like I see Bentley...He knows I am safe ..He is sitting beside me ..better still inside me...and even though I am shaking to death ..it will be okay and it is alright to be afraid of what I cant control The storm will end ..There is a song that I google and listen to often....you may want to listen.".Till the Storm Passes by"