It All Ends, It Really Does
Now approaching month 32 since I took the enormous leap into a benzo free life I continue to be wavering a little but otherwise normal. The wavering is a night-time occurrence and rarely spills over into my days. I look better and I feel better but still have that nagging anxiety which ramps up in the night. Perhaps this is something I just have to live with for awhile longer and not let it interfere with what I want to do.
I know there’s a lot of debate whether symptoms can be permanent. I don’t believe this to be true. Our bodies and brains are wonderful machines and want us to be well. They adjust and alter to try and achieve that wellness. All these adjustments are likely to be the terrible waves that we can suffer throughout the experience. I’ve always looked on a bad wave as bringing me closer to my healing. The present night-time issues are likely to still be my body and brain trying to make final modifications. I mustn’t fight them just accept and enjoy the peace and happiness my days now bring. As to permanent symptoms nobody can ever verify this as there just hasn’t been any research performed. I don’t believe there are permanent issues but I do believe the brain ‘remembers’ what has happened to it over the withdrawal period and before and for this reason can suddenly take a dive causing withdrawal to re emerge. Pacing and watching diet are still important at this stage to allow final recovery to happen.
Now I’m doing more I’m spending less time on the Net. I therefore apologise to those of you running Benzo Facebook groups which I’ve had to leave. Time is too precious and I’m hoping to help others in various different ways in real life. The Beating Benzos group will continue and thank you to all of you who are contributing. I think it’s become a great resource for positivity and support for those still tapering or having completely stopped. There’s a lot of help on the Net especially on Facebook and each group has a different focus which allows you to find exactly what you need in your own journey.
Don’t forget, however bad you are now, however you feel you can’t go on any longer, however frustrated you are by the perpetual mental and physical symptoms and wherever you are on your journey, it all ends it really does.