A short update of my blog as February gets underway. A month of stormy weather down here in the southwest of the U.K. However things are not so stormy with me now and after a few days of adjustment (my new term for waves) I'm now in a much better place and finding, at long last, I'm getting nights of peaceful sleep and days of energy and calm. Long may it all last.
I want to write about the sadness I feel for those who are unable to believe the withdrawal process can be this bad or last such a long time. Having just had a conversation with someone who refuses to believe people on benzos ever get well, and so turned to the drug again only to get a paradoxical reaction, I am feeling very frustrated. I wonder what else we can do to help those suffering so much that complete recovery cannot be envisaged so they condemn anyone who tries to help. I think this is yet another symptom of our disturbed brains but a very difficult one as it takes away any hope of healing for them.
I want to assure everybody that we do recover, all symptoms of withdrawal lift completely and we will return to our lives again. All my symptoms, apart from anxiety on occasions when faced with added stress, have left me at present. Something may return, I don't know but even if it does I am so much better than I was two years ago and the year previous to that. Only in a wave does my belief get challenged but I know this is how recovery happens. Those earlier in the process don't have the experience of pulling through the bad times and may therefore attack any attempts at help. We can only continue to reassure and advise and leave it up to them. I'm stronger now and better able to withstand the batterings that those of us who try to help may have to suffer. We will all recover, believe.