Posted on 30th December 2014

Happy New Year to everyone and may 2015 bring us all to full health.

I don't want to be negative but the purpose of this Blog has been to give a true account of my recovery process as I remain completely optimistic that this will happen, Christmas has not been a merry one. My bed has been my refuge and still is four days later. Insomnia and anxiety dominate my existence and stomach problems ramp up as soon as food is introduced to a delicate digestive system. What a mess. To cap it all I feel the onset of my first cold for many years. It seems, even from the safety of my bedroom, I can't escape the bugs floating around at this time of year. Ah well, this is as it is for the moment and is obviously necessary before my full healing happens. Perhaps next year I can celebrate this wonderful season of peace and joy from a place of peaceful joyfulness. 

It's all to easy to start fighting the process and getting scared. I'm still not good at acceptance and letting the symptoms rage without over reacting. I forget my own advice and start crying and screaming with the unfairness of it all....Why me? Why so long? What if this is not withdrawal? Why can nobody help me? Ahhhh! I must let go and let it all happen. It really is hard. I'm so grateful for the voice of wisdom and experience helping me through all this, the wonderfully supportive, Bliss.

On a happier note I have heard from one of my friends on this journey who has made it through after a severe withdrawal and inspite of some intensely dramatic and stressful life events on the way. She recovered within the eighteen month time frame. There really is hope for everyone.

I will write more of my symptoms and what's happening at present when my head starts functioning again! At the moment this is true survival.

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