This is 'It' at Last!

I’ve not been writing here a lot as really there’s very little to report. Now, approaching 40 months free from benzos, every day is seeing further improvements. There’s no doubt that this is ‘it’ now. That elusive ‘it’ I’ve been waiting and longing for over these seemingly endless months of suffering. Many a time I’ve written in my Blog how I thought the end was near and many a time I’ve been wrong only to be plunged into a wave and had to deal with the frustration, sorrow and despair that this brought with it.

It’s all very different now. The nights have become calm and sleep is the norm rather than just an occasional event. Insomnia is fading into the past, night-time cortisol surges rarely make an appearance and when they do are mild and non-threatening. Waves are limited to one day infrequently when I just feel foggy headed and low and can be easily endured. I fully expect any lingering symptoms to disappear over the following few months. I may still be fragile and have to watch what I put into my body but I know my strength is returning and I feel happy and well. All this and the summer is approaching to look forward to with expectation and enjoyment this year. Perhaps I will soon be able to plan ahead again.

So that is ‘it’, recovery happens. Even someone like me with a long, long history of benzos, a cold turkey, approaching the Autumn of life and a horrible, protracted withdrawal can recover. There’s so much more to be said and I have every intention of writing more over the next few months. For a start I’m not entirely convinced that protracted withdrawal is dependent on the GABA receptors being up-regulated as I think there are far more factors at play. It’s certainly not as simple as this. I will put these thoughts into words over the next few posts.