Lorin’s Success

[WebDevElijah]

Let me start with, I never once believed I would make it to this point but here I am. I know many of you are feeling like you are in that very place right now as well.

 

But, here I am. Proof that we can and do heal. I won’t tell my story in its entirety because it’s very long. If you have specific questions, use the search option and search my name in this group. I have posted several times along my healing journey with questions, lists and concerns. Most of my story can be found in bits and pieces in my previous posts.

 

The short sweet version of my story is that I was poly drugged, I was kindled multiple times, I suffered from tolerance withdraws for over a year before I figured out that I was sick from the benzos. I was on and off benzos multiple times over the last five years. As well as other antidepressants and anti anxiety meds. I was in a black dark depression from it and I didn’t know why. In June of 2018 I began my taper. Cutting dry from 1.5 mg of Clon, reducing by 1/4 of one .5 tablet every two weeks until I reached 1/4th of one tablet once a day. At that point I switched to water titration cutting by .01 every third day. I cut fast and felt pretty miserable the entire way but I just wanted free so if it was tolerable, I pushed through. I held twice for a week each time but it didn’t help at all so I never held after the second hold. It was a steady level of suck from the start all the way up until about a week post jump. It got incredibly hairy from 1 week post, up until the middle of month three post. But it was at this point the windows started and sweet Jesus it was worth every moment of suck along the way. The windows got more frequent and the suck less often. By month 9 I had more windows and very little suck. I had a short period of time where I had a long mild wave that lasted a couple weeks but the level of suck was minimal.

 

I’m now at 12 months. I can say I am 90% recovered and the suck that I have left is small, infrequent and minor. If I didn’t get any better than this, I could be happy enough. I’ll take it. I’m pretty confident that given another six months I will likely find myself at 98-100% and I couldn’t ask for more.

I won’t sugar coat it because I don’t want anyone to think that my journey wasn’t life altering and overwhelming. I had nearly every symptom on the list. Many, many times I believed I was going to die. I went to the hospital several times because of it. But that’s all behind me and I’m feeling pretty good! ( other than trying to get over a virus I recently had) I’m leaps and bounds improved and living my life near to normal. I went from being sick ALL the time to thinking that I can see normal from here and it’s in my reach.

 

Self care, take it easy, let it pass. Time heals this.

 

Stay strong my benzo family, you can do this!