Breaking Free from Clonazepam

[WebDevElijah]

 

Well, how does one quantify one's healing? It's been a question that has weighed heavily on my mind during the last few months. Am I 90% better, 80%... and does it even matter? What I do know for certain is that I am miles from the pain I endured during acute withdrawal and even further from the days on the medication.

 

My first blog entry: One day at a time. When I realized what clonazepam was doing to me, I decided to get off of it immediately. I spent one week titrating down off the medication and haven't regretted my decision once. Through the severe stomach pain, the dizziness, the inability to focus, the headaches, the tightness in my jaw, the electrical bursts, the slurring, the gastro issues, the tachycardia, the brain fog, and all the rest, I have held on to the fact that I am clearer in thought than I ever was while on the medication. All the pain I am enduring now is secondary to the need to be off this drug so I can be the woman I am without it.

 

There is not a day that has passed that I have thought of reinstating the drug to alleviate the withdrawal symptoms, and I am thankful for the unambiguous nature of my commitment, and it is a commitment. I am committed to getting my body and mind back from the grip this benzodiazepine has had on me.

Peace be with all of you who are struggling, myself included. May we all find the compassion we so easily bestow onto others and give a generous amount to ourselves. Being patient with ourselves is the surest way to ease the pain.

In love and light,

P.S. My choice to cold turkey was a very intimate decision. I do not encourage anyone else to follow this path; it is highly discouraged.

What followed that entry was an unknowable hell that tested my strength and faith in a better tomorrow. But I survived, and I am now on the other side, looking back and extending a hand to all of you who can't see through the thickness of despair.

 

Hang on to the truth that this is not permanent. Trust that you and you alone know what is best for your body and your life. Love each moment and know that there is a better tomorrow laying ahead.

 

Peace be with you.