WILLIAM'S STORY: Healing is True

[WebDevElijah]

WILLIAM'S STORY:

 

It's been a long 13 years on Clonazepam. I was sicker than a dog for many years, only to find out I was experiencing tolerance withdrawal. I was taking it to "help" me sleep. I started my taper in February of 2008 and just finished on March 29, 2009. I must say I, as others on here, have very thick skin. My body and mind were pushed to the limits over the past year, but the good news is I'm a survivor.

 

I'm a very analytical guy—I'm a mechanical engineer—what else would you expect? I've made some very good observations that may help others through a rough withdrawal. I'm going to write some things I noticed helped me through this and eventually made my taper virtually pain-free. Unfortunately, I had to go through at least eight months of hell to figure this stuff out.

 

1. Get in the right frame of mind prior to tapering. Don't be afraid, be strong.
2. A slow taper wins the race! A quick taper will bite you in the butt... and sometimes very hard.
3. I found the water titration method made me focus too much on my withdrawal. It was a seriously painful nightly exercise. Clonazepam wasn't water-soluble, so it was difficult to get an even mixture of water and medication. The only blender I could find that would mix such a small amount leaked, so who knows how much medication I was really getting. I could never get my body dialed into the right amount of taper, so my withdrawals were bad. It wasn't for me.
4. I used a compounding pharmacy. I found the sweet spot in dose reduction right away. I tapered 0.0625 mg every 2-3 weeks. I didn’t even feel some tapers. Although I still had some tolerance withdrawals between drops, I would get a month's supply of a specific dose with one refill in case I had problems. It went smoothly, and I never had to go past three weeks on a specific dose. My final taper was to 0.03125 mg. I stopped taking it after that and had two days of anxiety, but it went away as it always did. I had a bunch of other withdrawal symptoms, but why dwell on it? The cost of compounding for me was $40 per prescription.
5. Stay away from the negative posts! I would have serious anxiety attacks after reading some of the stuff on here. I firmly believe we have to retrain our brains to handle situations while withdrawing. I looked at it as my brain was a blank canvas. If you're throwing nothing but negative horror stories on that blank canvas, you'll be in trouble. My advice is to focus on happy, positive things. I read good books, watched fun movies, started to draw/sketch again, and planted myself outside to enjoy the fresh air. This was key to my smoother withdrawal for the last five months. The moment I stopped reading the negative stuff was the day I started to heal!
6. Make sure you use the same drug manufacturer throughout your taper. Generics can fluctuate up to 50% in potency. Your pharmacy can ensure you get the same manufacturer.
7. Take your medication at the same time every day/night.
8. Do not eat right before or after taking your medication! You won't absorb it properly. After figuring this one out, I waited two hours after a meal before taking Clonazepam and waited one hour after taking it to eat again.
9. Exercise! At first, I could barely walk, but once I got on the right track with my taper, I was able to do 20-30 minutes a day on my NordicTrack.
10. Eat foods high in protein. I had issues with low blood sugar levels. Sugary foods made me crave more carbs and feel worse.
11. I had to eat every three hours. It minimized a lot of withdrawal symptoms for me.
12. No smoking. I used to enjoy an occasional smoke—not anymore. This exacerbated my withdrawals.
13. No caffeine. Caffeine equals severe anxiety.
14. Don’t sweat not sleeping. I am living proof you can get three hours of sleep a night and survive. My sleep is far from perfect—I get 5-6 hours a night—but I feel so much better than I did when I was getting 7-8 hours on Clonazepam.
15. Expect a few hiccups post-taper. I've been on Clonazepam for 13 years. I don't expect to be cured overnight. A few bad days a month are still better than the hell I went through for years.
16. You will get better. My good windows turned into weeks near the end of my taper. At first, I had two good days per month, but near the end, that flipped to two bad days a month.

 

I hope some of my observations are helpful. It's been a hair-raising journey, to say the least. Feel confident—you will be a stronger person once you're done. I'm glad to be off, and I'm no longer a hostage to benzodiazepines. Oh, and the doctors always tried to poly-med me... I just said no!