LIAM'S STORY: Symptom Free after 3 years of healing

[WebDevElijah]

LIAM'S STORY:

 

It was right after my 25th birthday. I drank too much in my teenage years and carried over into my early twenties. I wanted to make a positive change in my life, so I quit drinking. About two weeks later, I had an anxiety attack. I ended up in the ER not knowing what it was, and they said I was fine and sent me home.

 

I started having a lot of these attacks and went to see a psychiatrist. In retrospect, this was the biggest mistake of my life. I explained that I had a problem with alcohol in the past and did not want to take anything addicting, as I was looking for therapy to help. This doctor explained that this was a "chemical imbalance" and that I was self-medicating by drinking. Then he recommended Klonopin, saying it was the least addicting drug for this condition and that I would have no problem stopping it if I wanted to.

 

He started me on 2 mg a day, which worked for a while but then stopped. He would then up the dose. I became a zombie on this drug, could barely remember anything, and often got lost driving in familiar areas. I was attending school at the time and not doing well. I wanted off this drug, so I stopped on my own. All kinds of symptoms started happening, and I had no idea it was withdrawal. I lasted a few months and went back on Klonopin. This did not help much, but my psychiatrist insisted it was due to my "anxiety disorder" and that I "needed" the medication.

 

After four years of this and numerous failed attempts to quit, I started losing weight and having esophagus problems. I was hospitalized for a heart arrhythmia called bigeminal PVCs and extreme abdominal pain. Doctors found nothing wrong, and every test came back normal.
 

After two more years of this and multiple doctors who all claimed "Klonopin does not cause that," I gave up. Over the next few months, my health worsened. I experienced reverse peristalsis in my esophagus, making it nearly impossible to swallow, lost 50 pounds, and looked skeletal. I was so sick I went on disability and ended up in the ER again, where I was told it was due to depression.

 

By this time, I was suicidally depressed and was given Xanax and Ativan, which made things worse. I contemplated how my family, including my 6-month-old twin boys, would manage without me. I also experienced hysteria and uncontrollable crying. Psychiatry was failing me.
 

Finally, my wife met a new doctor by chance who understood benzodiazepine withdrawal. He explained my symptoms were due to the medication. He shared his own experience with benzo withdrawal, having taken Dalmane for 20 years, and advised that recovery would not be easy. He sent me to Las Encinas Hospital, where I experienced seizures, hallucinations, and severe muscle twitching. They treated me with Phenobarbital and Neurontin for two months.

 

Gradually, I began to recover. My esophagus problems disappeared almost immediately, and I regained 50 pounds in two months. However, I still dealt with symptoms like burning skin, muscle spasms, derealization, insomnia, and panic attacks.

 

Now, 10 months off the drug, I am much better and slowly recovering. I still get waves of symptoms but have experienced windows of relief. I attend 12-step meetings for emotional support, although others there don’t fully understand benzo withdrawal.

 

This addiction is the worst there is. Benzodiazepines should be banned. I’ve seen speed and heroin addicts recover faster than benzo patients. My current GP understands and doesn’t prescribe these drugs for more than two days.

 

I have faith this will end, and I pray for everyone suffering to find the truth and begin their recovery.

 

Here’s an update: I am fine now. It took about three years before I was completely symptom-free.