ANGELA'S STORY: I survived Benzo hell and life is WONDERFUL now

[WebDevElijah]

ANGELA'S STORY:

 

I started writing to you more than three years ago. I was off Xanax and Valium for almost two years, and I was in hell. My doctor first prescribed Valium for menopause symptoms after I had a hysterectomy, and later Xanax when I developed anxiety due to Valium tolerance… go figure.

 

As you know, many times I felt I wouldn’t make it. My doctors told me my problems had nothing to do with the benzos; it was anxiety due to menopause. They offered me more drugs, including antidepressants. I am a single mother, but my children are grown up. They ran out of patience with me and, in the end, hardly kept in contact. Now that I am better, they are angry with the doctors and, I think, also angry with themselves. But that’s water under the bridge.

I did not have many windows. Much of the time, my symptoms were constant. I spent a lot of time in bed. I had no energy, a lot of pain, my digestion was whacked, and the psychological symptoms were horrific. I had awful unwanted obsessive thoughts, paranoia, and my head felt as if someone was sawing it in half.

 

The muscle and joint pain was bad, and the burning was unbearable at times. The head pain made sleeping almost impossible. I didn’t know a human being could survive on less than 3 hours of sleep each night for two and a half years. But I did!

 

At one point, I was so desperate to heal, I kept trying to find other reasons for my problems. I was tempted to believe my doctors and doubt myself. Your website helped me to keep focus, and I can’t say enough about your book. I read it every day. Thank you. You are an angel.

 

I was on Valium for over a decade and Xanax for seven years. How I feel now is amazing. I still get emotional when I think that I suffered for so many years. When I think about it, I was in tolerance withdrawal for years and post-benzo withdrawal for over 5 years. Don’t be discouraged if you read this. I met many people along the way who healed long before me. Some took months, some took 1 or 2 years. My situation is different. I was taken off quickly—almost a cold turkey—and I was on the drugs for a long time.

 

Do not give up hope. Benzo withdrawal is not a pleasant experience, but we do heal. I will be honest and say that many times I doubted whether I would or not. I have lost many years of my life—all spent in a tiny apartment. I had no money, and life was a struggle. But life comes in cycles. When you get down the way I was, the only way is UP. When I first read about affirmations on your site, I thought it was a lot of new age nonsense—sorry, but I did! LOL. Now I am an expert affirmer. I used them to keep me company when I was stuck on my own.

 

They made a difference and helped me to cope. Thanks again.

 

My life is wonderful now. Having survived the benzo nightmare, I feel confident about my ability to handle difficulties. I met a handsome, kind, gentle guy, and we are very happy and in love. Benzo withdrawal was tough, but it taught me a lot about life and what is of real value. I used to take so much for granted. Love your family, be thankful for everything—the food you eat, the clothes you wear, the roof over your head. Most of all, love yourself. Treat your body and mind as if they are precious, because they are the most precious gifts of life. Stay strong.