ADDIE'S STORY: 20mg Valium CT: YOU are going to heal, and you are going to be you again

[WebDevElijah]

ADDIE'S STORY: 

 

WOW...
I don't even know where to start! My God, I have been holding off on this one!

 

For all of you who know me and have guided me through the last 8 months of my extremely lonely experience through Benzo W/D—you have my heart and all my respect!

 

Guys, I can’t even begin to say thank you. I couldn't even put into words the imprint all of you have made on me. Guardian Angels—that’s who you are to me. I am truly honored for you all. Thank you, I mean it with all my heart. Thank you!

 

OK, here we go. I am a c/t (cold turkey) off 20 mg of Valium and suffered severe shock to my CNS. My brain had 6 ER trips over the first 8 weeks of c/t. I had no idea what was wrong, and neither did the doctors. Other than saying it was me doing this to myself—so not true. I knew it was this med, and I knew that I was going to be forced to fight for my life with zero help.

 

Long story short, I am a 38-year-old woman. I had 4 children, including a 4-year-old daughter who passed from brain cancer. I went through 3 separations from my husband of 17 years, a car accident, 14 procedures, way too many narcotics, sciatic nerve damage, 2 kidney surgeries, 50 kidney stones—and then came Benzo withdrawal. Oh boy, I was done. This was truly going to break me and bring me to my knees on so many occasions during this w/d.

But I didn’t care. I had no option, in my opinion. It was fight or die fighting—period. So that’s what I did, and it paid off huge. I was bedridden from month 3 to month 6 and didn’t see a light coming my way. So scary, but I had accepted what I had done in the fact of my c/t, and it made it easier to accept for me.

Come month 7, a window opened that never truly shut. What a miracle! I swear I was feeling like me again, and that "Groundhog Day" was gone! That’s when I found BB (Benzo Buddies), and I knew one thing—we heal from this most extreme experience and need to let everyone know: Hang in there; this does end!

 

It so bothered me and made me so upset to think anyone else was going through this. So, I dedicated my heart and yes, my soul, to this the best I could—to bring comfort and peace and just me, you know, as a friend to let you know: As bad as you're feeling, and as scary as this is, you are not alone. And you will get through this. I so promise you!

 

I remember at month 5, I was bad—really bad. I prayed to God and said, "If you need me here, then OK... But please don’t let me fall." I knew then I had to learn some stuff, and this was going to be the challenge among challenges. But I am so grateful I never fell!

 

So, I am so thankful I went through this because I have gained the most amazing friendships in all of you.

 

Well, now I’m at month 15 on Sunday, and I have a few mild symptoms—muscle twitches, a little discomfort, a small lump in my throat, and spasms from time to time. Woohoo! That’s so cool. I can’t believe it.

 

Just know this: YOU are going to heal, and you are going to be you again. Even when your body and mind are at their worst and you can’t see straight—look up! Look for that hand to lift you through this time.

 

 

Hang in there, everyone, and I can say with conviction: This ends.

So much love to all of you, and I could never, ever have gotten through the last 8 months without all of you.

xoxoxoxox~