SARAH'S STORY: Symptoms are GONE. Life is good and getting better all the time (Advice)

[WebDevElijah]

SARAH'S STORY:

 

At age 30, I was prescribed Temazepam for insomnia. At age 50, I was prescribed 0.25 mg Xanax for (minor) job stress. In 2003, my mother was brutally beaten in a home invasion. She died after a hellish five weeks in ICU at Stanford. Three subsequent murder trials and a divorce found me on a much higher dose of Xanax and several antidepressants. Xanax was the only thing that could stop the crying.

 

A few years later, my GP, a truly wonderful and compassionate man, said Xanax wasn't his favorite drug and suggested I switch to something else. I told him it was working great (I thought it was), and he didn't push it. We were both somewhat at fault at this point. I stopped taking Temazepam without tapering. At 2 mg a day, I could hardly stay awake at the end of each day as it was. Xanax probably covered any withdrawal.

 

I taught kindergarten successfully during these years and retired in 2000. With no job stress and my grief manageable, I couldn't figure out why I still needed to take Xanax… I knew I needed the relief it gave me, but I had NO idea it was due to physical dependence. I started 'testing,' playing around with the Xanax to see if it was actually the cause of the problems or if I was just a hopeless emotional wreck that had to take meds to stay calm. Then I “googled” benzodiazepines. OMG.

 

I started tapering in August 2011 on my own. My cuts were here and there because I didn't know how to properly taper. I realized I had to hold during stressful times like holidays. By February 2012, I was down to 0.25 mg with relative ease compared to what was coming next. A marriage/drug counselor friend told me to jump. So I did. Three days later, I was in full-blown withdrawal and felt I had to either reinstate (every fiber of my being resisted taking any more Xanax ever) or die from withdrawal… I KNEW I was in big trouble. I reinstated to 0.25 mg and felt immediate relief from the worst of the symptoms.

 

I finished my taper on April 8, 2012, and began immediately to improve. The perpetual headache went away the first day off. The rest were slower to go. The cog fog and memory issues took a while to improve. I also had insomnia, light and sound sensitivity, and a host of other minor complaints like burning skin, tremor, dislike for showering, changing clothes, seeing people, fear of driving, and stores… But they're gone now.

 

A year later, I am doing well. I am increasingly active, I can think and remember, I want to go places, do things, and be with other people. Life is good and getting better all the time.

 

I've been asked why I've recovered so quickly. I think a huge part is that I didn't have to work or take care of children. I only took care of myself (I could barely do that). I was able to keep stress down and let healing happen. I have really put myself first in this.

 

Every single symptom (except insomnia and general agitation) was brought on when I went too fast. GO SLOW… If you're not already suffering, DON’T BRING IT ON by rushing your taper. You are not going to kick the benzo's butt—it will kick yours if you rush your taper!