Till the Storm Passes By
We had a bad thunder storm this afternoon. Bentley (our dog ) has always been terribly afraid of thunder and rain. He just litterly trembles and shakes and drools .. tries to hide. wants to sit near me, and just looks like he is going to die ...it absolutely breaks my heart...when it's over he is exhausted and finally sleeps...I am told by friends that dogs can have seizures from this fear and some give their dogs tranquilizers to prevent it..we would if he had a seizure.. but he just toughs it out ..when this first started it was about 3 or 4 years ago and I was beginning my depression and In the midst of anxiety attacks (didn't know what they were then) one day in the thunder and rain I was laying on the couch and he was on the floor just trembling and shaking his body actually moves with it....I had my hand on him talking ,tryinng to comfort him " its okay , you:ll be alright ..you are safe . its not going to hurt you ...we are fine " because in my heart I knew there was absolutely no danger except in his mind. but there is no way he understands that and he can not control the fear ...that day in a still small voice inside me God said" Betty you are as safe as he is..you don't have a thing to fear, I am In control and you are safe ..I understand you cant control your fear but just believe you are safe and don't worry about it..I understand.. you cant help it any more than he can..just remember that you are safe."...since then thunderstorms always make me remember how really safe I am in my storm..today as I watched Bentley in anguish again I said ..you are okay I know you don't understand me but I am here ..that is what he wants and that is all I can do it is so good to have someone who is justthere ...A dear frind reminded me this week "you dont have to be strong for me ..just br there!." The storm, passed and he calmed down .. Just a dog...yes but I love him and he is like a child to me..today I thought what a storm I am in the middle of....Benzo withdrawal and it is tearing me apart...but I am just as safe as can be although I don't feel it and everything that is me is trembling and drooling and tearing me apart...God sees me like I see Bentley...He knows I am safe ..He is sitting beside me ..better still inside me...and even though I am shaking to death ..it will be okay and it is alright to be afraid of what I cant control The storm will end ..There is a song that I google and listen to often....you may want to listen.".Till the Storm Passes by"
No matter if you are feeling like things are at a stand still, or if you feel overwhelmed by your circumstances. You just need to keep looking ahead and ignore the negative scary thoughts that try to hitch a ride with you! Throw them over the side, along with and nagging doubts that you cannot get through another day. Because you will, one day at a time, one hour at a time if need be.This temporary place in time will vanish some day! Until then listen for the gentle whispers in your heart that speak of positive things and of hope, they are there if you listen hard enough! You body telling you "I got this, just trust, and believe, I will do the rest!" courage dear hearts!
Keep going and remember why you started down this road. Sick, depressed and tired of being a slave to a drug that promised you would feel better, only to make your life a living hell! But you are in control now, you are the captain of your own ship, the person in the driver's seat. You say where to next! There may be hazardous waves along the way, but they will not sink you! Your destination to a better place awaits you, keep your radar set on that. Keep trusting you will arrive safely! Blessings It is hard not to feel like prisoner during this process, especially when the life you once knew has changed so drastically. Symptoms can be all consuming, and they can challenge you on every level it seems. There was a time when I could not run a single errand or leave the house hardly, as I was so weak and in so much pain! I am so grateful that I can now stay on my feet most of the day and actually run my errands. Today I had an apt. with my PCP who reaffirmed to me (as I have been saying), that the body is amazing at healing itself. Even things that were a prior must for surgery now have been proven to heal on their own given time and proper nutrition. Keep going dear friends and know you too will get better! Blessings and peace to all!
Keep going and remember why you started down this road. Sick, depressed and tired of being a slave to a drug that promised you would feel better, only to make your life a living hell! But you are in control now, you are the captain of your own ship, the person in the driver's seat. You say where to next! There may be hazardous waves along the way, but they will not sink you! Your destination to a better place awaits you, keep your radar set on that. Keep trusting you will arrive safely! Blessings to all!
Today was a good day I saw her working in her garden, her hair dancing in the wind. I watched her as the great, big, fuzzy dog ran around in furious circles with excitment. His joy at her presence, he has missed her playful voice outside as she tossed him his ball! I heard her again singing inside her home as she busied herself with the celebration of completing chores, starting projects. Each one a victory, maybe a trifle to some, or a tedious drudge, but not to her, it was like beautiful music to her soul, as she had not been able to live her life as she had known it for so long!! As the day turned to night, I saw her step in front of the mirror. She had never looked so beautiful, her messy hair, no makeup, she looked like the person I knew was me ! Today was a good day! In almost two years since my downward spiral began, I have not recognized myself so well. Even my pain was minimal today, which has not ever happened for me! Healing is happening! I am not there yet but i feel sure I am coming to a turn pike in the road ! And you will too, keep going! Blessings to all!